2018 started quite calmly. After I finished my internship at Match2One, there wasn’t much to do. My main focus was to find a job. I had some interviews with some companies and did some test projects. The process was still going on though very slowly. Some companies that I got in contact with hadn’t shown up since the holidays (or maybe they decided to move on with other candidates and didn’t tell me. I don’t really know.). There was one company that seemed to be promising but I can’t really say anything until I sign the contract.
I was under the pressure of seeking employment for a while and this was my second time in Sweden. I was stressed but I learned to let go because it was out of my control and I did my best already. I had about one month left to find a job. With the time I had left, I could choose to be very sad and depressed, or be happy and enjoy the moment. I guessed it wouldn’t matter anymore when I knew that eventually I had to go home. So why would I be sad when I can be happy, right? Well, but if I managed to get a job, that would be another story. It was a little too soon to say anything at the moment. So let’s see.
Back to the New Year’s eve, I celebrated with my classmates-Yinglai, Steven, Tingye, Ludwig, and his friends at Ludwig’s place. It was actually pretty fancy as it was also a farewell party for Ludwig and he was leaving to do PhD study in England for some years.
This is a drawing of the living room in the house that I was living in. This was a New Year present from me to Maria and Lennart.
See you another time.
Happy new year,
It started with Guillaume leaving Sweden with his mom (Corine) on last Wednesday morning (His brother-Jean-Charles left on Tuesday morning) because he finished his master’s study already. It was his time to go back home in France. No need to ask how sad I was. This winter treated me really harshly. I really hoped it was not our last goodbye. Life is ever changing and this change was another milestone. It happened fast, yet really slow. It was like you know that the time is coming and every minute seems to be slower than usual. Then it happens and the next day you wake up, you don’t meet your friend like you used to do everyday anymore. No more any familiar noise and sound. No more familiar casual conversation. No more gym buddy. No more eating company. No more guitar. Everything just changed. It just felt so strange. I decided to move from my old room to another room (Guillaume’s room) because I believed it would help me adjust to the new change. So I wouldn’t hear the noise from the his door because it became my door instead. This way I could change to the new habit. It wasn’t actually new, but at least it was slightly different. It helped me to not get stuck in the past and to move on easier.
It was a good 6 months spent with this good friend at this place. I had learned how precious the time is. Through all the good and bad times, they all were valuable. People come and go all the time, and you never know who you meet. Some might turn out to be your lifetime friend. Some might be your lover. Some seem to be good but turn out to be bad. Some just come into your life just to hurt you. Only time can tell.
So that was sad. On the other hand, it wouldn’t be Guillaume if he didn’t forget something in this house. He forgot his watch and it seemed to be valuable for him…Well, this could be a quest for me to return his watch to him (unless a post service came into play which would be pretty pricey, or a third person sent by him to pick it up). This suggested that we would possibly meet up again some day. A reunion trip just sounded interesting and exciting. Anyhow, I didn’t know what would happen. I can only wait and see.
Now it’s photo time. I ate so much in the last few weeks. There were some parties and Christmas’ eve and New Year’s eve. It was pretty heavy.
Let’s start with a farewell dinner in Lappis. As Tina and Peem (my Thai friends) were leaving to Thailand because they finished their study already. We had homemade julbord, cooked by Thai people (us).
Then, my old friend from highschool-Chaiwait came to Stockholm. He was a pilot. We didn’t see each other for about 13 years. Didn’t change much actually.
This was another julbord at Ulriksdal Wärdshus hosted by Danica Pension, the client of Great Works. It was extremely good! Big thanks to both Great Works and Danica Pension.
Steve, Yinglai, her friend and I had hotpot dinner. It was traditional Chinese style I guess. It was very hot and spicy, but it was really good to have during the cold winter.
Here is from Christmas’ eve. Even though we didn’t have white Christmas but it was very cozy, much fun, much food and many people.
Then, New Year’s eve. Again, much food, much fun and many people. We also went to the water close to the house to see fireworks (and count down).
It was quite fortunate that the snow finally came in the last night before Guillaume and his mom left. So we had a sauna session, did the snow angel in the backyard (No photo here. Guillaume didn’t allow me to post any.), and went for a walk with Anneli and Marley (but Marley is not in this photo.).
And it was the time… Bon voyage.
This is Marley, the chihuahua. This is my New Year present to Anneli :)
Last but not least. I got this gift set from the Dickeli family. “Bistrot au rendez-vous des amis vieille amitié ne craint pas la rouille!”.
Actually, there were an Italian dinner at my neighbor’s and another Thai dinner at the restaurant, but I didn’t have photos.
There were so much going on in the last few weeks both ups and downs. Life is dramatic and however it is, I think I just have to keeping moving on.
See you another time,
This is the drawing I drew last week. It is from the heavily snowy day in November (see the original photo in my previous blog). Last time I drew a picture like this was about 10 years ago. I still remembered some basics. Maybe I should draw more. Let’s see.
So far my December was pretty rough. I had an argument with one of my best friends-Guillaume. Then everything went down down down… It was actually 3 weeks ago but it felt like the time was so slow. Isn’t it strange that we feel that when we are happy, time goes so fast and when we are unhappy, time goes slower? Some say that time is relative. I probably agree with that. It is relative and our time runs in different pace even if we all have 24 hours a day. Another thing is that when time goes by, it kills and heals in the same time. Though I wasn’t sure about my case this if it’s because the time heals or because I start to let go.
Emotion is something that is unstable. It goes up and down all the time. When it goes up, it seems to be fine, but when it goes down, then there might be a problem. Some say that we shouldn’t ignore and neglect the negative feelings because they can make us grow. We can let them stay and feel them. They can make us stronger and wiser. I guess it works the same way as everyone. When you suffer so much, at one point, you just get over it, let go, and move on. Next time you feel down, you should be able to get up faster than the previous time. I believe it doesn’t mean you get numb but you just get better at how to handle your emotion. All is just the matter of time, I suppose.
Apart from the drama, there wasn’t much. My study was about to end. I almost finished all courses and would start my master thesis in January when sky starts to get bright again. So this would probably be my last blog of this year since Christmas was coming soon. Like many people do, isn’t it a good time to leave all the mess and start something new, again?
I wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy New Year :)
See you in 2017,
PS Guillaume and I talked through it already and we were cool again, I supposed ;)
Almost 2 years ago, I came to Sweden alone. I had no clue what would happen to my life. I knew only one place in this country-Hyper Island. I knew I had to go there to study “Digital Media” for the next 2 years. I didn’t feel confident to talk in English. I felt uncomfortable with new people. There were some people that I encountered and it turned out awkward because I couldn’t handle the conversation. There were also some people at school that “unfriended” me because I didn’t talk to them much enough. I didn’t want to blame them and ask for a new chance. Things just didn’t work out as I expected, and I just can’t befriend with everyone. It hurt but we had to move on.
Anyway, these last intense 2 years taught me a lot about my life. I thought I learned so many life lessons. I made new good friends from those lovely people, those who would make me cry when I leave. Instead of feeling happy of going back home, I felt sad.
Now, the party was over. My two years in Sweden was almost done. My next chapter was about to begin. This transition took a lot out of me. The last day at Hyper Island was too much for me. There were too much love and too many tears. There was also too much dancing and it was fun :D
My situation was still unpredictable. I was still looking for a job around here. I sent out my job application to more than 300 companies already. I got a lot of “no”s and some interviews/meetings. I hoped it would work out somehow. Though I had 7 days left to stay in Sweden. After that, it would be much harder to find a job here…well, we could keep in touch and see what would happen to my life.
Some photos from the graduation ceremony.
Some photos from midsummer celebration on last Friday in Almunge at Jesper&Madde’s place (Filip’s friends).
This is the last set of my reflection project (day 281-300). Most of them are from the Major Arcana of the Tarot deck.
Thank you so much-Hyper Island, Sweden and all my beloved friends. I hoped I would see you again.
It was a month since my last blog post. My situation was getting harder and harder. I had been working on both my internship and portfolio-day and night, weekday and weekend, no, not 24/7. I had to sleep. I worked hard but I still had to save my life, otherwise I would breakdown. I had put myself in an extreme situation than ever before and, in the same time, I had to deal with the loneliness-the most vicious enemy at this moment.
Think about how lonely you were when you didn’t have friends to hang around. Everyone was busy with their own company and stuff. You lived alone (well, I didn’t live alone, but my Greek flatmate didn’t speak neither English nor Swedish nor Thai. I couldn’t communicate with him.). You didn’t have colleagues at work, but only the boss. You didn’t have time to go out to meet people. Only thing you had was just a computer (internet, Facebook and shit). That was kind of my situation.
It might look like it was just fine. No, it was not. Some people might be able to live with the internet and computer but, not me. After I had been chatting and talking with friends via computer for a while, I found out that it didn’t solve the problem. Physical contact was still a must and I was dealing with it. It was not easy. I had tried to chill out alone but it wasn’t fun. I just couldn’t be alone for so long.
However, let’s step back a bit and see what happened. It seemed like I was in pain and suffering from something. What I had learned was that no one wants to get along with an unhappy person. Everyone wants to be happy. I saw many people were seeking for happiness including me. Ironically, happiness comes from inside, not outside. People like to share happiness, but a good friend is the one who sits and listens to you when you have a hard time. Well, I’m not saying that I’m blaming anyone. Everyone has their own life. Sometimes our time doesn’t match each other. Life is tough sometimes. I just have to learn and embrace it.
Yesterday was a nice Saturday. I had a chance to visit my friend-Dongjiao and her family-the Karlssons-Numa, Kasper, Maria, and Lennart. It was a nice visit. We had a casual BBQ for the dinner. We made a rhubarb jam. I had a chance to play with Numa, her baby son. Suddenly, it was 11 p.m. I didn’t expect that. The time runs so fast. So, I left with a warm big heart and a jar of rhubarb jam. It was nice :)
Back to my situation, I had 5 weeks left before I would leave Sweden. The question was “Will I come back?”. I didn’t know. I was trying to find a job at this moment and it had never been easy. I couldn’t imagine how it would be if I have to go back to where I’m from-home… Let’s get in touch and see what and where my next step would be.
So here are the new sets of my individual project. Up and down. Happy and sad. Such a colourful life.
See you later,
The real spring had come. Stockholm was getting greener and greener. The weather was getting warmer and warmer as well. Though the sun was about to take over the night again…excessive sunlight!
I had been working on my new internship for 3 weeks already. It had been up and down all the time. At my new place, I was responsible for the rebranding project and marketing strategy. So, I was both a creative and a designer or maybe an art director as well. It was really challenging and not easy at all. The good thing was that I had a chance to work on the real stuff with very senior people. Yeah, this was not a test project. This was real. However, I didn’t have a team…Apart from my mentor/boss and her husband, I was working alone. Luckily, the partner of the company was the CEO of Oakwood(the creative digital agency) who could help me along the way.
Phew…that was heavy stuff. Let’s talk about something else.
Today, while I was writing this blog, it was Easter Sunday. This was the long weekend. On Saturday, I had a good opportunity to visit Uppsala. Yeah, with that guy-Filip, and his company-Patrick, Simon, Caroline. We had a very nice dinner, played cards, drank some booze and went out. And today, Sunday, we went to the park, chilled out and played a ball. Then, I left in the late afternoon.
It was really nice and simple, nothing complicated. It was just a small homemade Easter celebration, but I felt very thankful and overwhelmed with a lot of feelings (and tired). This was one of the most precious moments in Sweden to me. I wish I could do it again and again :’)
Here is another set of my reflections project. A lot of things happened…
See you later,
Hello there everyone,
It had been almost a month that I hadn’t updated my blog. Many things had happened in this month. The season was changing as well as my internship. I didn’t want it to happen but it happened :/
I was sick in the beginning of this month. After being healthy for a year and half (since I left my homeland), I eventually got cold. It started from my shoulder got injured from the gym, so I had to stop working out. Then, (I guess) I became weaker and got cold. Nothing was serious though.
I also had a chance to attend to One Republic lived in Stockholm! I went there with my dude-Filip. It was just GREAT AND AWESOME!
In the middle of the month, after sitting there having nothing to do for a couple of weeks, I decided to quit my internship. Well, I just wanted to work and do something and if there was nothing I can do, why should I keep going there? In the same time, my friends at Common Fans-Pini and Johan had a project coming up. Therefore, I jumped in and started working with them for temporary.
Next week I would start my new internship at Girlie. I really hoped it would work out somehow.
My time in Sweden was depleting. I wished I could stay here after Hyper Island. I started to feel like a cancer patient who is told that he will die in the next 3 months…Anyway, whatever will be, will be. I just had to do my best as if I can stay for only the next 3 months. So, there wouldn’t be any regret.
Here comes my next individual project. Continuing from my reflection drawings, I had upgraded it to the next level with water colour painting. Water colour has never been easy to me D: Guess when the concert was, when the day I quit my previous internship was, and what my project with Common Fans was about.
Thank you for reading. See you other time.
Winter was about to leave. My life was about to change. Everything is changing all the time. I was at the halfway of my internship. Sooner or later it would pass.
I was amazed that many things had happened in this short amount of time. I was not sure if it was because I did a lot of stuff or it just happened for a reason. There were many things that I didn’t like and didn’t want them to happen, but, time after time, I learned that I just can’t have everything. I thought I did my best, but if it was not for me, it would never be mine. I can only let go. Of course, there was some disappointment. What I could do was just to live with it and, in time, I learned to cope with it.
I also accomplished another personal project-my reflection illustrations from day 101-200. It’s done!
As we can see, there was the darkest day. Guess what happened. Yep, I was depressed. Life is not always easy, but not always hard. We just have to learn and fuck it. Moreover, there are also some clues about my side project with my friends that we were working on. I would show you when it’s done. And, yes, I started the next set-my reflections day 201-300. So, let’s see if I would make it or not.
Keep in touch,
I hadn’t seen you for a long while. My life was going up and down all the time. Though it was slow. My internship was going forward but it didn’t feel so right…It’s complicated. So, I didn’t have much to blog about.
On the other hand, my life was more interesting and challenging comparing to last week, last month and last year. I started doing some changes for my life in order to improve and move on to the next level of the awesomeness! I hope. By the way, I was not alone on this kind of game or project. I had my coach/mentor and witnesses just to make sure that I wouldn’t go too far and break down…I still needed some support to save my life. Don’t worry. It’s not about life or death. I just started writing another chapter of my life. Feel the love and pain, and feel alive.
So, let’s see how it goes.
I have 2 sets of my reflections for this blog from day141-160 and day161-180. The 2 yellowish days are the days I was in Tromsø, Norway. As we see, there are so many ups and downs. My life is so dramatic!
See you later,