Alone Again

Hello there,

Current situation : Alone in the beginning of winter, in one of the coldest country in the world

I just realised how lonely I am. I’ve been here for 4 months and a half. I haven’t had homesick and I don’t want to go home. I am totally fine to be here, but something happened a couple of weeks ago. That situation made me present. I just noticed that I am totally alone again. After high school, I was the only one in the class who decided to study arts & design. After Bachelor’s degree, I was the only one in the class who decided to work as a programmer. After working 2 years, I was the only Thai who decided to come to Hyper Island in this year. Nobody speaks the same language as me. Why is my journey so different from my friends?

A few days ago, I was a bit depressed and lacked of motivation. There was no sign or warning and I didn’t notice anything, but felt so sleepy. Everything seemed to be boring and irritating. It was a traumatic moment. Someone said it’s because of the weather since the winter is coming. Thank to my friend who warned me. At least, somebody still sees me.

In this kind of vulnerable moment, I’ve learned that just only one question made me outcast. I didn’t mean to interfere or meddle or be unpleasant, but I just want to talk, want to communicate. This could be a reason why I’m so isolated or why it’s hard to get along with others. This caused misunderstanding many times and they started to get annoyed. Sorry for my bad :(

By the way…

I found that cooking can help me feel better. At least, I can focus on something else instead of running around in my desperation.

Winter is about to begin. Let’s see how tough I can be in this land of Vikings.

I took this photo last week. It’s the floor of the train station. Strange texture.

Take care,
Best